Pussyfooting

Well this is fucking great. After 36 hours of having no contact with human life (internet down) I'm finally finished with my first and second electronic songs. It's sunny out today, which is nice, because I actually am awake to get some sunshine through the portholes. Natural light is healing, my dad always says. I think he's an idiot most of the time, but it's fucking great to see sunlight.

I had some really fucked up dreams the last couple nights/days. One of them involved living in a series of tunnels where there was no law, no adults, just kids - some of them in their 20s. I don't understand exactly how older kids can act so childish after being in college or whatever. I don't want to be one of them. In the tunnels I just sort of just explored and had wild sex with my dead girlfriend (who was alive in the dream) and random other girls, all clad with post-apocalyptic garb. Needless to say I enjoyed that one a lot.

I don't even know if I can finish doing this stupid blog, or this whole isolationist bit... The last two days have been really bad. I sort of had a panic attack and thought that there was no air coming into the sub or maybe that the CO2 wasn't being filtered. I freaked out and sort of cracked my head against a pipe. This whole exercise is fucking with my head. I'm trying to be productive and try to make something for Sylvia, but I think I may just be causing some real damage. But I don't even care. Part of me wants to die down here. Yes, part of me must die down here.

Songs posted whenver I figure out how to upload them without using shitty Myspace.